There is a lifestyle that is alive and well among Christians. It the Christian Doormat Lifestyle. It’s not a part of the doctrine but a culture that develops around the teachings. But in truth, Christians don’t have a monopoly on this lifestyle, it’s a part of many cultures and religions. And so there is a great need for it to be talked about.
It’s this lifestyle of being patient, forgiving, meek, humble, turning the other cheek all, etc in a way that makes you a doormat. All those pro-social and pro-christian behaviors are good but that can be easily be misunderstood. We may even feel like choosing to be a “good Christian” is accepting being a doormat. After all, is it even possible to turn the other cheek without becoming a doormat?
I believe that when the scriptures are talking about humility, patience, meekness, and turning the other cheek and when we see the Savior engaging in these type of behaviors, that it is the virtuous version of patience and meekness, for example, not the doormat version of patience and meekness. There are different versions of patience. There are different versions of humility. There’s a doormat version and the version that is virtuous. One is an act of weakness and the other an act of strength. Not all humility is virtuous. Not all patience is an act of strength. And not all cheek turning is weak. And not every act of meekness is an act of making yourself a doormat.
Why does it matter? What’s the big deal if someone is forgiving out of weakness rather than out of strength? Does it really matter if they are being doormat forgivers? Isn’t forgiving good no matter what? No, no it is not. The truth is, for starters, that the potential within others is greatly limited by their participation in the this Christian Doormat Lifestyle. One’s ability to create goodness and to make a difference in the world decreases. I mean think about it, if the adversary wants to limit the power of an individual, it makes sense for him to flatter them to be forgiving and patience in ways that are weak.
Without meaning to we encourage and pass on this doormat christian lifestyle and we even at times praise it and honor it. I see it as a very destructive force in our live. It has had a very significant role in the destruction of some close relationships in my life, including my own relationship with my own self. Participating in the christian doormat lifestyle was perhaps the number one force that weakened my sense of self and got in the way of me becoming me.
This topic, the doormat christian, is huge purpose behind my blog. It is one of the main topics that I want to write about. I want to create meaningful and valuable conversations around this topic and to shine a light on some of our limiting views, traditions, and lifestyles that we at times engage in without giving it much thought like muscle memory, doing it without really thinking about why we do it.