Genuine Gratitude or Fabricated Forced Faith

There was a time when my marriage was coming to an end. We had worked with a marriage counselor with no progress, I had been working with a therapist for awhile as well. It seemed as though the best option was to end the marriage legally and move on with life. We tried and tired but it was still an unhappy toxic marriage. Until we started working with a different marriage counselor. This therapist was able to help in ways that others could not. She basically was able to help us see our own role in creating the marriage we currently hated and also what we could do if we wanted to create a better marriage. We pushed through and confronted our own limitations and dealt with them and slowly the marriage changed and became wonderful and passionate and good.

One summer evening, out on a trail run with my husband I found myself completely filled with gratitude for the marriage we have now and feeling grateful that we were able to find a therapist who was able to help us in a way that we could not help ourselves. There have been many people who have come to me with their marriages on the brink of divorce and asking for help. I don’t hesitate to tell them about the therapist we worked with.

It’s easy for me to see the impact this therapist has had on my life, my marriage, and my family and when I think about it at times it brings me to tears. I wish I could feel the same sense of gratitude for the Savior.

I feel like I am blessed and helped often by the Savior and that my life is better because of the Atonement, but I am blind to the impact that it has on my life and so I feel like a lack of sincere gratitude. It’s like I know I should be grateful so I tell myself that I am, but I am ashamed to say that I don’t feel the same deep, real, genuine gratitude that I feel for this therapist…but I want to. I want to be able to sit and reflect upon the impact that the Atonement has had on my life and to see where the Atonement has made my life better and to comprehend the difference it has made. I can look at my marriage and honestly say that it would not be better with out having had the opportunity to work with the therapist we did. She did something for us that we could not do for ourselves…I want to see and feel that about the Atonement in my life. I know that the Atonement has the power to change our lives and help us in ways that we cannot help ourselves, but I am blind to seeing it’s impact in my life. I don’t doubt that it is impacting my life, I just think that I’m not seeing it. And perhaps it is also because I am under-utilizing that power in my life as well.

It’s interesting to see how willing and desirous I am to talk about this therapist with others and it’s because of the impact she’s had on my life and my marriage. I want that same natural response to happen with me and the Savior…to have this natural strong desire to simply talk about Him with other because of the impact He’s had on my life. I just want to experience genuine gratitude, not fabricated forced faith.

August 29, 2019

Time writing this article: 30 minutes

Total time writing on this blog: 11 hours